The Mental Load of Working Moms: Strategies to Lighten Your Daily Stress

Hey Moms,

Let’s talk about something real: the mental load. It’s the constant background hum in your mind that runs 24/7, even when you’re trying to focus on work or get some much-needed sleep. It’s the never-ending to-do list that includes everything from remembering to buy more diapers, scheduling pediatrician appointments, and planning meals, all while managing deadlines at work.

The truth is, the mental load can be overwhelming. It’s often invisible, but it weighs us down in ways that physical tasks can’t. So, how can we manage it better and find a bit more peace in our daily routines? Here are some tips to help lighten the mental load:

1. Accept That You Can’t Do It All (And That’s Okay)

First things first, let’s cut ourselves some slack. The pressure to be everything to everyone is real, but it’s also unrealistic. (This is something I am continually working on). Accepting that you can’t do it all—at least not all at once—can be incredibly freeing. Focus on doing your best and remember that perfection isn’t the goal; balance is.

2. Write It All Down

One of the most powerful ways to lighten the mental load is to get it out of your head and onto paper (or an app). The mental load often feels heavier when it’s swirling around in your mind without a clear plan.

• Start each day by creating a brain dump—a no-pressure list of everything that’s on your mind.

• Use a to-do list app (like Todoist, Trello, or even the Notes app on your phone) to organize tasks into categories: “work,” “kids,” “personal,” etc.

• Prioritize tasks into “must-do,” “should-do,” and “nice-to-do.” This helps you see what truly needs your attention today versus what can wait.

3. Learn the Art of Delegation

Delegation isn’t just about passing off tasks—it’s about trusting others to support you. Whether it’s at work or at home, you don’t have to do it all by yourself.

• At home: Ask your partner to take on specific, regular tasks like bath time, meal prep, or morning drop-offs. If you have older kids, give them small, age-appropriate chores.

• At work: If you’re managing a team, delegate tasks that others can handle. Focus on the tasks that require your specific expertise.

• Hire help where possible: If your budget allows, consider outsourcing grocery shopping, cleaning, or childcare for a few hours a week. Every bit counts!

4. Create a Daily Routine (and Stick to It)

Routines aren’t just for kids—they’re game-changers for moms, too. Establishing a predictable daily routine can reduce decision fatigue and help you feel more in control.

• Start your day with a simple morning routine, like 10 minutes of quiet coffee time or a short stretch to clear your mind (this may take practice).

• Plan work tasks in time blocks, with breaks for checking in on your kids or tackling household duties.

• Develop a calming evening routine to wind down, like journaling, reading, or listening to calming music.

5. Let Go of the Guilt!! Seriously! Let it go!

It’s common to feel guilty for not being able to do it all, but remember this: you’re doing enough. Guilt only adds to the mental load and can drain your energy.

• Reframe your thoughts: Instead of “I didn’t do enough today,” try “I did the best I could with what I had today.”

• Practice self-compassion. Give yourself grace when things don’t go as planned.

• Celebrate small wins—like surviving a tough day, getting a big task done, or simply making time to breathe.

6. Prioritize Mental Well-Being

Managing the mental load isn’t just about productivity; it’s about well-being. Make mental health a part of your daily routine.

• Schedule breaks throughout the day, even if it’s just to stand up, stretch, or step outside for fresh air.

• Practice mindfulness—even a few minutes of deep breathing or meditation can help clear mental clutter.

• Make time for yourself: Whether it’s a solo coffee run, a bubble bath, or reading a chapter of a good book, give yourself permission to do something just for you.

7. Build a Support Network

You’re not alone in this journey, even when it feels like it. Connecting with other moms who understand the challenges can be incredibly helpful.

• Join mom groups (like this one!), attend meetups, or find a small group of supportive friends who can relate to the mental load.

• Be open to asking for help—whether it’s venting to a friend, asking for advice, or getting a second opinion on a tough decision.

8. Give Yourself a Break

We all need a break sometimes, and that’s perfectly normal. If you’re feeling burned out, it’s okay to take a step back and rest. It’s better to pause and recharge than to keep pushing forward while running on empty.

The mental load is real, but with the right strategies, you can lighten it a bit each day. Remember that you’re doing a fantastic job—both as a mom and as a professional. We’re all in this together, and every small step you take to lighten the load is a step toward a healthier, happier you.